October 25th, 2004

Well its been a while since I have last written... Hmm, well Audrey is now 3 and a half months old!! She is soo beautiful too! She looks identical to dan except for she has my blue eyes. She just started rolling over a few weeks ago! And its so cute, she knows her own name now too! She has this "Jumparoo" thing and it just lets her jump around, so she has a blast in that every day. Its hard being a mom though. I actually dropped out of school. I had to. I couldnt handle the stress of working all the time, going to school and being a mommy. I kind of regret it, but oh well. I'm not returning next semester either, I'm waiting till the fall so I can establish myself and then I will go part time. I applied to SUNY Brockport today, and my GPA is high so I'm pretty sure I'll get in... if not I dont know what I'll do. I am still working at hess.. but not for long. I have sent in my resume to a thousand different places lately, and I actually have an interview on Wednesday *my birthday* at Crestwood Childrens Center. Its like a branch of Hillside, so getting in there would be awesome. I'm nervous, but I think me being a psych major kind of gives me an advantage. I'd make $10.32 an hour, but the only thing that sucks is the hours. Its Sunday through Thursday nights from 11pm-7am. I wanted a Mon-Fri job during the day, but working there would look awesome on a resume when I graduate so I'll def do it. I would have benefits the first day I start too, which is good cuz Audrey got denied for medicaid so we dont have insurance for her right now. I have huge hospital bills cuz of it, but I'm not gonna stop taking her to the doctor if she needs it, so I just suffer instead. Dan is doing good. He's handling the stress of work/school/baby wayyy better than I was. I honestly envy him. He works so hard. He gets up with her every morning too just so I can sleep. I tell ya right now ladies.. if ya ever want to find the perfect man, find someone like Dan... he's a keeper.

We picked out the bridesmaids dresses for the wedding and had a fitting about a month ago! My bridesmaids are: Julie, Marisa, Jen, Tracy, Lateasha, Sarah, and Katie. I have two flower girls (Audrey and Cailyn) and a ring bearer (alex). I'm pleased with it, but its such a huge wedding party!!! I've been looking at DJ's and Florists but my favorite is wedding favors! I have such good ideas! It kinda sucks tho... like, I dont talk to any of my bridesmaids as much as I should (with the exception of my sister). Like, Marisa is really caught up in Hubble. It seems like everytime I call we dont even say anything to each other, and she never calls me so its like OK... and Jen... she babysits for me, and we talk more than I talk to anyone else, but its still not a lot. Tracy and I exchange emails. She's really busy with work and school and her man lives in Oswego so its understandable. T-sha is caught up with school and work and her boyfriend peter too. I dont even talk to Sarah or Katie. Katie is at Cortland doing god knows what. She never calls me or anything. And Sarah doesnt either, but to her defense we never talked a lot to begin with. I dont know.. I just feel like since I had Audrey, everyone has disappeared. Like, Marisa still goes out and stuff. I hope she and Jen know how lucky they are. Like, I'm not mad, I'm jealous. They can go out and their parents watch their kids. Both of them work nights, so their parents literally watch their kids almost every single night. Then when Hubble is in town, they go out alone and her mom watches her. I'm lucky if my mom will watch her one night a week. Since I had the baby, I have not gone out once... literally. And nobodys said anything about my upcoming birthday either. I'm not reminding anyone either. Tomorrow night we are celebrating a day early with my dad and his girlfriend. The three of us are going to the Olive Garden. I FREAKIN LOVE THAT PLACE!!! I wish Dan could come, but he has to work. Then he has night class on my birthday, so it sucks. He cant skip though cuz he already missed one.

Alright this entry is long enough... I'll write more and update if I got the job!!! Wish me luck!