May 18th, 2004

Dans been working a lot, so I basically sit at home alone. Nobody even calls me either, except to babysit. I havent talked to Marisa in a week, and thats only cuz I ran into her at the mall. Today Jen quit her job but I babysat Alex so she could go pick up applications at the mall... however when she picked up Alex, she was with Marisa. It just feels like nobody ever invites me anywhere. A few weeks ago Jen called me to babysit cuz she said she was going out with Justin for mothers day, so I went to her house. When she came back I find out that they were with Marisa, Hubble, Carrie, and others. Nobody invited me, they just wanted me to babysit. Does anyone know how stupid I feel? I know I could be calling them too, but why would I when I seem to have been left out of the equation. I'm not even mad either, I'm hurt. These two are supposed to be my best friends. But along the way they became best friends and I became an aquaintance. I need a job. I am driving myself nuts. If I had a job, I probobly wouldnt notice I was being shoved aside. The worst part is they might not even notice that its going on. Thats why I am not mad.

I think I need a hobby... the past week I've been getting everything ready for the shower. I finished all the party favors, and all the game packets I'll be handing out. I still gotta find a few more gifts to give for the games... and wrap all the gifts, but thats about it. I am not even really excited about the shower. I'm nervous. But I am sure it will all be ok.

Dans family is coming out this weekend... I'm pretty excited. I dont really get to see them often. Well I am going to watch my soap opera now... god my life is a joke