December 17th, 2008

Once again it is Christmas time. This is normally my favorite time of the year, but that's not the case this year. I am basically broke and that makes me feel like crap. I spent about $10 on my mom, $15 on my dad... I just feel so cheap. Dan and I didn't even over-do it for the kids this year, and they are my favorite ones to buy for. I hear all the cute stuff that other people are buying for their kids, or friends, whatever, and then I feel even worse!!!!! It sucks!!! Why has this holiday gotten so out of control with gift giving? It makes me feel like crap! I'm broke people!!!! I only work 2 days/week so how am I supposed to celebrate this holdiay?

Even better, starting in January, we don't have health insurance because our health premiums sky-rocketed so we cancelled it. UGH...

And then there is the friend issue. Tracy and I aren't speaking. I'm not sure we are in a fight, but there aren't words being exchanged. I finally spoke my mind, and now I get one less friend. Everytime she see's a new guy, she puts me on the back burner. I'm not sure if she does it with her other friends, but it definately happens to me. The only time that didn't happen was when she was with Brad (I set her up with him... My mistake) but that was the only time. Now she seems to be really happy with her new guy, but yet I am left out. Do I suck it up and start talking to her first? Or do I let her try to talk to me? She sent my husband a text on thanksgiving and not me... that was low. I was so upset, she knew I would be. I am always there for her when things are shitty... ALWAYS. But when she's happy I get no part of that. She needs advice, I'm there. She needs a ride home while I'm at work at 4am.. I leave work to go get her. She's done a lot for me too when I needed her (she wrote me a grad school recommendation), but I just wanna share the good along with the bad.. is that too much to ask?

Marisa isn't in a good place emotionally, she broke up with her girlfriend and she's really messed up about it. I hate seeing her so sad, but she's just the type to give and give, and therefore she gets taken advantage of. I hate it. Then there's Jen... where do I begin? She just moved into a house with her boyfriend of approximately 4 weeks!!.. yes, WEEKS!!!!! He has a little girl so they basically have this little family now. But I met him once and wasn't impressed. That's just so unstable for Alex, but I'm being good and have been extremely supportive. She really seems to love this guy, so I really wish her the best, but she really has me worried.

OH.. and Julie and Jeremy broke up... for a day! They decided to cancel the wedding at first, then they decided to post-pone it... and now they have decided to do it in Las Vegas. They have set the date for August 26th of this coming summer. I'm excited for her, but I'm really nervous. I hope she is making the right decision. They are both under the impression that the wedding was stressing them out, so they wanted to do a small yet elegant one in Vegas. I am putting a lot of it together, although I am being careful not to overstep my role (which is always hard when it comes to planning things). I just want it to be the right decision for them. Apparently they are back to "normal" without the stress of a big wedding, so maybe this was just what they needed. I hope so anyways!

The one thing that doesn't have me worried is Dan... thank goodness for him. It's amazing, but we feel more in love than ever before. I have been getting a lot closer to Stacey, which is great. She's just amazing. I feel like there isn't anything that we have to hide from her, which is great to have in a friendship (especially because I walk on egg shells with so many of my friends). And obviously I have Amy... she's just the most amazing person ever. At least I have them <3