April 13th, 2004

So like today I must be over emotional. Just everything isnt going right. I have a huge huge paper due on thursday that I forgot about and was reminded of today, I dont feel good, stress is killing me, and on top of everything, Dan was kinda mean, which is like never. He didnt do it on purpose, he was joking around about if we ever broke up, he'd still be there for the baby and pay child support and what not... but it freaked, and I mean FREAKED me out. See, every man I have ever been close to in my life has wound up a cheater. My dad, for instance, proclaims he loves my mom and blah blah but yet he cheated on her more than once, and he says he loves his ex lubi, but he def cheated on her wayy more than once, so i kinda view it as normal to cheat. Then my ex Mike of course cheated on me twice, he slept with two girls in our 2 years together, so it just seems its everywhere. I know in my heart Dan would never betray me, but my head is another story. I am going mental over here.

On a positive note, I am going to the hospital tomorrow cuz Marisa is gonna have her baby by then hopefully. She's in the hospital now, so I am excited for her.

Well thats about the only good thing going on in my life now. I am trying not to write as much as I usually do cuz lately all I seem to do is complain and it gets old. I will write more if I am ever in a good mood...