Audrey turned 7 yesterday, I cannot even believe how fast time has flown by. The fact that Benjamin is going to be 5 this year just really throws me for a loop. Lots of people have been asking the baby question recently to Dan and I. While his answer has been consistently NO since Ben was born, I have had swings in either direction. I love holding a new baby, smelling their scalp after a bath, dressing them up in the most adorable little outfits, shopping for them, the first smile and laugh, singing to them when they are crying, the point in which they start to develop their own unique little personality... crap, I'm talking myself into it again! But on the other hand, I love having a bit more freedom. There is no more diaper bag, car seat to carry them around in, afternoon nap in which the other kids would have to stay perfectly silent for, diapers, etc. However the event that sealed the deal for me not wanting another child was Haley's first birthday party.
I will start by saying that 2 years ago, her party would have been HELL for me. It was the most adorable little party, filled with a few inflatable pools, some inflatable climby thing, and a slip and slide, plus it was right next to a parking lot, so my anxiety would have been through the roof! I would have had to stand next to Benjamin and Audrey the whole time, making sure nobody ran into the parking lot, or drown in the pool, or fell off the climby thing... yet that was not the case a few weeks ago. I sat about 20 feet away with all the other adults, my chair pointed in the kids direction so I had a clear view of them, and chatted with the other adults while the kids had fun. I had no diaper changes, no accidents, NOTHING. I was able to enjoy the party, and the kids were able to enjoy themselves. It was awesome.
I still can't believe that Haley just turned one, and Anthony is gonna be 2 this year. That is truly insane to me. Our last visit for Haley's birthday she actually didn't cry when she saw us... I think she actually is beginning to recognize us and our voices. She just loves the kids too, which is not surprising because they are so good with her, but I think they have had lots of practice with Anthony. We see him often, as we watch him for about an hour and a half during the day 4 days a week. He is just the happiest little boy, it's so awesome to watch his personality develop. He loves the kids too (and me), but his favorite is D (Dan). So imagine my excitement when I was at my mom's house the other day and Anthony was there (first time my mom has watched him in a LONG time... ) and Anthony was crying for me and as soon as I picked him up and started singing to him, he calmed right down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Cutest thing ever. I will definitely never forget that moment. <3
Things with Julie have been "okay". We always seem to be so hot and cold. We had a talk the other day where I basically admitted my jealousy with her relationship with her sister in law, and she seemed to understand. Sometimes I feel like Julie and Jeremy want nothing to do with our side of the family, but I wonder how much of it is Jeremy and how much of it is Julie. They seemed very pleasant at Audrey's birthday party though, so hopefully we're taking the right steps to a healthier relationship with them.
Dan and I are doing well... I can't believe we will be married 6 years in less than a month! That's insane! I guess time flies when you're having fun (or when you never see each other). He's decided he's gonna stay on overnights for at least one more year until Ben enters Kindergarten, and then go from there. Personally, I think if he stays on overnights longer it would make more sense, because then he can sleep during the day when the kids are gone, and spend time with us at night. Who knows though. I hate him not sleeping next to me, but I guess it's getting easier. The only problem with the job though is the money sucks, and we could certainly use some extra cash. I think that's why watching Cailyn is so important to us, because it's extra income.
We just had an appointment at Home Depot last week about our kitchen design, and we have one all picked out, so now we're just waiting to have the cash. I'd love to just do it now, but it's not realistic, and I've had a crappy kitchen for so long, I can wait another year or so. It's just nice to have an actual plan in place for when we can afford it! We'd also like to get a pool next year, but we'll see how that goes. We always have big lofty plans, and nothing ever comes of it. We were supposed to get a nice new swing set this year, and look how that turned out. =(
The friend situation- Hmmmm.... Where do I begin?
Marisa is doing well lately. She has a new girlfriend named Christina and they seem to be doing pretty well. I just met her for the first time 2 days ago and they seemed very happy and very serious. I hope this works out for Misa, she deserves to have that kind of love in her life. I know she's been struggling with Cailyn lately, but hopefully that will improve with time. She's still living on her own and loving it. I'm happy for her =) Jen... well, I don't think we are friends anymore, and I'm pretty sure this time it will stick (although Lord knows how many times I've said that in my lifetime). She did some pretty terrible things, and spread a really horrible rumor, and I just dont think mentally I can take it anymore. It's sad, because as I type this I am regretful to say I miss her, but I think it's because we were friends for so long, there is just a void there that just isn't filled yet. I'm sure I will see her around, because I still plan on remaining friends with Becky and her family, but who knows. I'm hoping my friendship with Becky won't be affected, but I can't be sure. So far it has taken a minor hit, as we don't text nearly as often, but I think it's because it's a little strange knowing she can't really mention Jen to me, and obviously her and Jen are close, so there is a bit of awkwardness there. I love Becky though, so I'm hoping our friendship will remain solid. I've grown really close to Michelle recently, and I must say I love it. Audrey and Amanda have definitely helped the friendship grow, since they are so close. She's just really easy to talk to and non judgmental, plus she's hysterical, so we always have a good time together. She thinks it's a little odd to have a friend so much younger than her, but I don't think it's that bad. As long as we get along, who cares, right? Amy is doing well too. Unfortunately she just lost a baby a few months ago, and clearly herself and Mark were devastated, so they are slowly picking up the pieces and praying for another chance. They don't make it to Rochester as often as they were coming, but maybe with summer coming up we'll see them more.
Alright, Anth will be here in a few minutes so I'm gonna get ready. Had another migraine this morning so I've been up ever since, and now it's almost time for work! Lucky me!!!
